Re - Connect
11/26
I spent Thanksgiving this year with family (grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins) in New Jersey that I hadn’t seen in years. I’ve spent so much time on this swift cycle of work travel and investment into friendships and relationships in Los Angeles, I forgot how easy it is to distance your life from the people who still love you when you’re at your least finest, and celebrate you when you’re blooming. I’ve been so focused on my independence that I forgot the value of dependence.
I got to see how my Aunt has changed her life (becoming Vegan and running), and my once young cousins turning into Men and Women alike. They have big personalities; they are creative; they have self-confidence and self-worth; and most of all they are all great people.
My grandparents have aged, but my grandmother still has that unique giggle and sparkle in her eye. She insists on feeding me Indian sweets and Gujarati food, and watches the same shows on TV that she watched when I was a little girl sitting on her sofa at her old house in Reading, PA.
And so, I became flooded with memories of my visits to see my grandparents, my aunts, and uncles. (My cousins were all small at the time and some not born as there was a significant age difference at the time). Now, the age gap seems so insignificant.
I would wake up every morning and pray with my Nany (Grandmother), eat Prasad (a blessing from God), watch all of the ABC daytime soap operas, and help her hang laundry on her line outside. We would go for walks, and she would give me cooking lessons, and would always remember to keep her pantry stocked with Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
I remember throwing temper tantrums at the ripe old age of four because I wanted to hang out with my aunts and uncles (and they obviously), wanted to go to bars and rid themselves of this little girl who tried to be an adult. I remember one time in particular, laughing about it with my aunt today, when I wouldn’t let my parents go out for New Year’s Eve, because I was bored. So my aunt tried to bribe me by saying that she would wash, blow dry, and curl my hair if I would let my parents go. I smiled innocently and agreed to this, but the moment my aunt finished and put the mirror on me, I looked at her and said, no they still can’t go. What a brat I was.
Other times, my aunt would be sun bathing outside on the lawn in my grandparent’s backyard, and I would go out there (with my horrid one piece swim suit), without any sunblock, and bake out there with her. I felt so mature and cool, sun tanning with my aunt, ruffled swim suit and jelly shoes and all.
As you can imagine, growing up an only child and having family gatherings (with no cousins your age, or people to play with), makes you restless. Yes, you are forced to have a vivid imagination (sometimes talking to yourself, playing with dolls, and reading), but sometimes you want connection. You want someone to understand you, and you want to understand yourself.
My aunts and uncles would stay at my grandparent’s house bringing over the new born kids as the years passed, and I felt like a complete adult looking at these babies’ faces, like I was some grown mother myself). I remember once holding my younger cousin Cassie when she was a newborn, and petting her face like she was a doll. When she got older, we took her to some outlets in Reading, and I remember holding her cute little fingers as I wanted to keep buying her hair bows and accessories, (with my parents money of course). In later years, I remember going on a cruise with the family, and taking her to a teen club (when I was in my 20s, and she was only 13). Oh, the sacrifice, but it brought my back to those days when I wanted to hang out with my Aunt and be an adult. How roles had reversed, with her daughter.
28 years later from sun bathing in Reading, PA, I found myself surrounded by family, building that connection I had never gotten those years ago. My cousins had girlfriends; we chatted about travel, work, and even love. My now 16 year old Triplet cousins (yes triplet – all girl cousins), just had their sweet 16, and each had their own cute personality. What I found especially great, is all of my cousins supported one another, there was no squabbling or pointless arguments, (though they might have been on their best behavior). We cooked a Vegan Thanksgiving dinner, and shared some laughs when my uncle insisted on having an entrée.
Uday: “Guys, what is the entrée., we have to have an entree!”
Us: “There is no entrée. It's a bunch of appetizers.”
We made one non-vegan dish because some of us were craving cheese, (eggplant rollatini), and the vegan version turned out better, so our bad.
It’s funny when there are some people in your life that you think you can’t live without (boyfriends, friends), but then you see family, and you know that everything will be okay. You remember what it is to feel home again. Nothing else matters, and everything and everyone else becomes insignificant.
My cousin Connor helped me title an Instagram photo: "How can we not talk about family, when family is all we got?" I have a rad family, and I'm thankful to be a part of our own version of the United Nations. Hey, maybe we will even get a reality show one day.